Walking The Talk: A Year Of Introspective Transformation

As time approaches, I feel there’s nothing more effective in bringing me closer
to you than simply engaging in conversation with you.
I can no longer bear the weight of inconsistency –
saying one thing but acting in contradiction to my words.

I can’t understand
And I will never understand
How good you are
How pure you are
All the time you are just thinking
about How to connect between us

In just over a month my birthday will be upon us once again.
Do you recall our conversation from the last year?
I shared with you that my most significant personal journey was a lack of true sincerity in our interactions.
Consequently, I made a request – to genuinely – ’walk the talk’
I promised that this year I would make a concerted effort to honor that commitment.

I won’t hide the truth
You have been a tremendous help to me,
especially this year.

And yet, I find myself still mired in the experience of separation.
so I practice my meditation,
maintain my journaling,
And I’m also doing a little bit of yoga poses.

But then again,
a moment of pleasure arrives, and I find myself craving more.
I yearn to gain, to achieve, to acquire for myself rather than for you.
I wonder when it will change.
When will my heart be entirely pure?
When will every thought that I have will be a thought of love?
When will I be totally connected to your true
To my source?

As I draw nearer to you, I understand more profoundly that I lack access, and you don’t desire for me to alter anything in the external world.
Not the wars in my country, nor to voice out against those who have hurt me.
You don’t wish for me to be the smartest or the most talented.
What others might say after my next philosophy class doesn’t truly matter to you?

For years, I’ve wanted to succeed in your world, as you probably know.
I’ve aspired to make a lot of money, having been told that this is considered success, or at least, it’s a way to measure it.

I wanted to make a lot of money
They have told me
That this considers success
Or at least, it is the way to measure

But yoga is enlightening; in yoga, the true profit lies in the intensity of one’s presence.
From yoga’s perspective, the only thing I truly deserve is the reality of this moment.
This moment is the profit of my past actions, the essence of karma.

So, what do I do when nobody is watching?
What are my daily thoughts, and words?
How do I behave in the real tests that life offers – those found in connecting with others?

You see everything, yet you are invisible, present everywhere and nowhere.
And perhaps, even you have ceased to judge by conventional standards.